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How to be Happy: The Art of Living a Good Life

The art of living a good life is not an easy one.

Living a good life takes hard work to get there, and it also takes patience. This post will help you on your journey to find happiness. One of the most important things about being happy is accepting that sometimes bad things happen for no reason at all. We don’t have control over everything in our lives, but we do have control over how we react to what happens and how we live our lives!

Acknowledge bad things happen for no reason

It doesn’t make sense, but that’s just how life is sometimes and it’s important to accept this fact with gratitude instead of trying to find meaning in all the hardship you go through. We can’t know what someone else has been through or why they are going through hard times now. All we can do is be responsible for our reactions to bad things.

Spend time with people who love and care about you.

This is one of the best ways to cheer yourself up, even if it’s just for a little while! It might sound silly, but being around positive people can be really uplifting. There may be people who you care about who are constantly negative. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be around them, but that you’ll need to be careful not to get pulled into the negativity.

Take care of yourself

Get enough sleep, eat well and exercise. Give attention to the things that really matter for health: eating healthy food from all five groups every day, drinking lots of water (at least eight glasses), getting regular physical activity, not smoking tobacco or overindulging in food or alcohol. Moderation is key when taking care of yourself.

Keep a positive attitude

Even when life gets tough, remind yourself that it will get better and there are always good things to be grateful for. If you can’t find any good in the situation then create some: For instance, if your boss is being difficult at work today, think about all of the people who have it worse than you. Are you handling it better than they would?

Spend time with friends and family

They are the ones who love you unconditionally, don’t abandon them.

Try to have a sense of humor about things

It’s impossible not to laugh when something is funny so take an opportunity for laughter whenever possible. Especailly if someone else finds what you said funny or tells a joke that makes you laugh. Life is good, even with the bad that comes with it. I find laughter is a key factor in the art of living a good life.

Find what you’re passionate about and work towards it

It’s less time consuming than trying to find the perfect niche, but when you spend your free time on something that makes you happy or feel fulfilled in any way shape or form then eventually those passions will lead to a career path of some sort. Happiness is out there for you to grasp.

Smile

Smiling takes less than a second and it can make the world seem like a happier place! Plus it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Don’t think you need to be positive all the time

It’s not how we are wired, so it’s impossible. Though it is possible to rewire our brains, it’s hard work. When you find yourself falling into a negative cycle, recognize it, acknowledge it, and then trash it. You can be negative sometimes, just don’t set up camp and stay there.

Are you ready to start living a good life?

The Art of Living is something that every single one of us deserves, but not everyone is willing to put in the work needed. It doesn’t have to be hard work, but we need to train our brain to make it work.

I want to tell you that happiness and the art of living a good life is not an ending goal, but instead the process and journey of life itself. It’s so easy to get stuck in this idea that we need some grand gesture or monumental event for our lives to be considered successful. But if I can teach you anything from my own experience, it’s a journey. One with flat tires, getting lost, side roads, and great connections and friends.

Forgiveness for Your Own Happiness

Forgiveness is one key to happiness

Do you ever feel like you are stuck in a cycle of anger and bitterness?

We all do at some point, but how often can we really let go of that feeling? It’s hard to forgive someone who has wronged us and hurt us so badly. But once you start practicing forgiveness, it becomes easier and easier. I know from experience.

Forgiveness may not be easy

I’ll admit, I was never good at forgiving. It was always a struggle for me to let go of any sort of grudge or resentment, but then my mortality was handed to me after an accident. I’d been kicked in the head by a horse, and shortly after my doctor told me that if she’d have kicked my .5 inch lower, I wouldn’t be in her office that day. After that happened, all I could think of was how much energy and precious time I’d wasted on people and things that didn’t matter. So one day I decided enough was enough and just started doing it more often than not because it made me feel better and less stressed out. And the funny thing is when you’re kinder towards people they will respond back with kindness as well instead of being resentful themselves! The lesson here is forgiveness, not for the other person, but for yourself.

Forgiveness is a tough thing.

It’s hard to find the words, it takes time and patience, and sometimes we’re not ready to forgive. When you can’t forgive you’ll never be able to move on either. So how do we know when it’s time?

When someone does something that has hurt us

I can hold a grudge with the best of them, and I’m married to one of the best, so I know. At one time, early on my path to happiness, forgiveness was the step I refused to take. I wanted to hold onto the hate, hurt, and disgust. Why? I have no idea. I look back now and realize how much energy I wasted. How much stress I put on my body. Most of it over things that in hindsight were small. “Don’t sweat the small stuff” is fine, once you realize that in the scheme of things it actually was small.

I’ve since learn to let go of the pettiness of others too. Not that I don’t backslide, I am human after all. I used to let things people said stew in my soul, wishing mean things for the person. How sad is that? I was dropping to a level that was embarrassing. And again, so much energy wasted.

You don’t have to confront the person you feel wronged you, but if you do, sometimes you’ll find you took things the wrong way. And sometimes you were right and that person was a slug. (shrug) Either way, let it go!

If you want to perform a physical act to let this hatred/grudge/bad juju go; write your grievance on a scrap of paper along with the person’s name, then (standing over the sink or in a safe place) light that paper up! (not responsible for any injuries, be smart about this) Breathe in deep, and blow it out, letting the negative energy flow out of you. Whew, doesn’t that feel better?

Social Media and forgiveness

Everyday we hear about someone else’s story of how they have been wronged. We listen to their side, offer our support, and then share their post on social media. The natural reaction is often outrage or anger towards the other person who has caused this injustice. But what happens when it’s your turn? What do you do when you find that you are the one at fault? I’m not talking about a small mistake here…I mean something major where all evidence points to YOU being in the wrong. How can you expect anyone else to forgive and forget if you won’t even be able to forgive yourself? That’s why today I want us all to take a moment and think about how we would like others to treat us for a mistake, then before you jump on a bandwagon, think how you’d feel if it were you being lambasted.

One last thought. When you read these stories, remember, there are always two sides to the issue, and the truth lies somewhere in between. I’ve seen plenty of posts on Facebook, where I was appalled at what I read, but when I dug deeper, the person making all the noise was actually the “bad guy.” That bad guy was online doing damage control by spinning the story to make him look better. In fact, one of my novels revolves around this very things. So, before you jump on a bandwagon, get both sides, or better yet, stay out of if.

Best Sleep Gadgets from Amazon

I’ll admit it, I love my sleep, and I hate being woken up in the middle of the night. But I also have trouble falling asleep sometimes too. Because of these things, I have some must-have items to help me get to sleep and stay asleep. So here’s my list of favorite better sleep gadgets.

The quality of your sleep is just as important as the quantity.

Bose Sleepbuds

Sleepbuds, not headphones — Designed for sleep, Sleepbuds may look like tiny headphones, but they don’t stream music or podcasts, instead they deliver relaxing and noise-masking sounds to help you fall asleep and stay asleep all night

Weighted Blanket

I can say, I was skeptical about weighted blankets, until I bought one. Now I fall asleep much faster than I used to. I never looked up the “science” behind it, but I know it works for me. But…and there’s a big but here…most of them are so ugly. This one is gorgeous and soft and perfect.

Bluetooth Sleep Mask

This is one of my favorite sleep gadgets in the summer. I usually go to bed before dark, and not only do these block the light, they work with my phone to play sleep sounds from my various apps. I also take this when I travel, but then I usually listen to audiobooks or music.

White Noise Machine

Looking for something both you and your partner can enjoy? This white noise machine just might be your answer. Sleeping alone, but don’t like earbuds? This is the next best answer for that too.

Oral Sleep Aids

There are plenty of herbal and CBD sleep aids on the market, but I don’t feel it’s my place to recommend any of them specifically, because if you are on any medications, you need to speak with your doctor or pharmacist before using them. I was 100% on the CBD train, but then found out it’s contraindicated for the meds I take. I’m so glad I checked, because my prescription medications keep me alive.

So do your due diligence when deciding to take any oral sleep aids, and check with your medical professional.

Start Where You Are

Start where you are makes so much sense, it’s almost stupid. Where else are you going to start? But it’s also brilliant because if you keep waiting for the right moment, enough money, the perfect opportunity, you’re going to be waiting, and waiting. You’ll never get started.

Isn’t waiting just an excuse to not get going?

Waiting for the perfect timing, or whatever, is just another way of procrastinating. You’ll never get started. Been there. This blog is a perfect example. “I’ll wait until I have at least 30 blog posts before I go live,” was my first excuse. Other excuses included wanting to add a podcast, “But I can’t launch the blog until I have at least five or six podcasts recorded.” Look, I know, I’m the queen of wanting to be somewhere else before I get started. I finally realized I needed to start now, and get to where I want to be by getting started. If I didn’t write this post and the few others that I have, I’d never write more. But now that I’ve begun, I’m excited to continue.

It’s time to stop making excuses

Start where you are, right now! Don’t wait for the right time or opportunity. Take advantage of what you have, and build from where you are. If you want to start a side hustle but you don’t have the money, start smaller and build by getting the money along the way.

I can already hear the next sentence, “But Jamie, where am I going to find the money?” There are lots of ways: sell the stuff you no longer use on Craigslist, put yourself on a strict budget and set aside money while you build your business plan, earn a little cash with your smartphone camera, grab some quick cash while running errands with the EasyShift app, have a garage/yard sale, take advantage of Facebook Marketplace by selling your bigger items, etc. Take a look at what you have around you, what can you use to earn some cash? Maybe start your own blog (I’ll have post on that in the near future too, and yes, blogs can make good money).

Start where you are…

If you’re look for a little inspiration, be sure and read August’s book club selection.

Taking my own advice

I’m preaching to you about starting from where you are, and I’m taking my own advice. I started this blog as Jamie & Co. and I never seemed to quite have the number of articles I wanted for an official “launch.” Well, I have a handful of articles now and I’m launching where I am. I’d love it if you subscribed to my blog (and eventually my podcast) because I’ll be posting regularly about living your best life. There’s so much we can do when happiness is our compass.

How Your Subconscious Rules You

The stuff dreams are made of, and nightmares. The subconscious mind is the part of the mind of which we aren’t fully aware, but which influences one’s actions and feelings. We’re talking about memories, beliefs, fears, and your subjective ideas of reality

Your subconscious mind is extremely powerful, and can, whether you realize it or not, change the path you choose in life. It can create a reality you didn’t think you asked for. Learning to choose our thoughts effectively, both on the conscious and subconscious level helps you create a better reality for yourself. Whether it’s personal, financial, work, or (as we concentrate on here at HIMC) happiness.

Tapping into your subconscious can play an integral part of your life.

The subconscious mind is your brain’s memory bank, with unlimited gigabytes, able to store every thought, every incident, every victory. Here’s the rub, your subconscious memory is perfect, but your conscious recall is not.

Let’s just say the subconscious is your hard drive, and its job is to store and retrieve data. Your hard drive is your master file, and you can control the files before they are stored. You can also change your perception of what you think you stored. It’s programmed to your patterns, so it obeys your conscious mind. It doesn’t have the ability to think or reason independently.

Your subconscious is commanded by your conscious and works to make the algorithm fit your emotional patterns, your hopes, and your dreams.

Subconscious is Lazy

Your brain is lazy, probably the laziest part of your body. Like your autonomic nervous system, it wants everything to run on autopilot. Once you develop habits, emotional triggers, and negative thoughts, your subconscious grabs onto them and sees them as the norm. Then it works hard to make you uncomfortable when you try new things or try to change set patterns. Even thinking about doing something different, changing a habit, or trying something you fear triggers feelings of discomfort and unease. If the discomfort keeps you from making the changes or trying something new, the subconscious wins! Yes, no need to store anything new!

Pushing Out of the Comfort Zone

Living within your comfort zone is easy, but no one ever grew by being complacent. Staying in your comfort zone is the enemy of creativity and growth. To grow, you must push past the feeling of awkwardness and discomfort.

There are many ideas on pushing past your discomfort, including counting to five. When your mind tries to talk you out of going for a run (the couch is so comfy), give it five seconds, then get off your butt and into your running shoes. Once you’ve pushed past the idea of the discomfort, you’ll be happier, and you won. Now you’re one step closer to making running a habit.

Fake it Until You Make It

You’ll hear people say this is bad, but they aren’t looking at it correctly. Don’t let your subconscious keep you from trying new things because it tells you you’re going to suck at it. You sucked at crawling, then walking, then running, right? Doing something, no matter how small, faking confidence, is better than doing nothing.

Controlling your Subconscious Mind

Your thoughts have power in your life. What you think about, dwell on, believe in, feel intensely about, all manifest to be part of your life.

When you control your subconscious, you are being intentional with your thoughts, and putting the right ideas out into the universe, and therefore training your subconscious.(By now, I’ve typed subconscious so many times, you’d think my fingers would find the keys without my help, LOL)

You need to be specific about your life and goals.

When you focus on a new habit, soon you don’t even have to think about it. Brushing your teeth, for instance. Many people brush their teeth at least twice a day. It’s automatic, you don’t even think about it. Just go into the bathroom and it’s part of your routine. You grab the toothbrush, add toothpaste, brush, and rinse. Easy peasy, no thought involved. Your subconscious knows the drill.

Now, change it up. In this case, the goal is to brush your teeth automatically with your non-dominant hand. Use your non-dominant hand to brush your teeth, from beginning to end. Say you’re right handed: open the cabinet with the opposite hand you’d usually use, grab the toothbrush with your left hand and the toothpaste with your right (or opposite of how you’d normally put paste on your brush), now brush your teeth with your left hand. Notice how much slower you are? How you must think about your movements? Because your subconscious has this task on autopilot. The whole time you’re doing this task, your brain is asking you to please stop and do it the right way.

You’ve pushed out of your comfort zone. Keep at it. And try to brush with your non-dominant hand for a week. You’ll find that each time it gets easier, and your mind tells you you’re doing it wrong less and less.

Set a goal, and be specific.

Then take the steps to get there. Baby steps are fine, so your subconscious doesn’t complain too much.

When you stop listening to the negative patterns that your prehistoric mind thinks are keeping you safe, you take control.

It’s That Simple

As with the brushing your teeth example, anything new you want to try, your subconscious is going to fight you, try to tell you the reasons it’s not smart or not possible, or how much more fun sitting in the recliner and flipping through channels will be.

How do you change this thought pattern? Train your brain! It’s as simple as ask, believe, act, receive. This is the cornerstone of the Law of Attraction, and your path to happiness. Of course, there’s more to it, but knowing how powerful your subconscious is gives you the tools to control it.

I highly suggest reading Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior

Live Your Best Life

Live your best life by living intentionally. Many of the posts on this blog are about manifesting your best life, by thinking and do those things that make you a better person, and live a better life. Here are 4 things that will help you achieve that best life.

Start Your Day With Intention

I wake at 5am, which is something I never thought I’d do. But I have a business to run which requires me to set my alarm. I do get a few minutes before I have to get out of my warm bed, and I use the time to set my intentions for the day, not hit snooze. I find when I don’t set my intentions, I can get irritated with the slightest thing that doesn’t go exactly well. Manifesting my day with intention has changed my attitude about life.

I highly recommend Hal Elrod’s The Miracle Morning to get you started with intention in the mornings. His story is empowering, and his book will give you a different view of the morning routine.

“Every once in a while, you read a book that changes the way you look at life. But it is so rare to find a book that changes the way you live your life. The Miracle Morning does both, and faster than you ever thought possible. I highly recommend Hal Elrod’s latest book.”

-TIM SANDERS, NY Times bestselling author of The Likability Factor

Find your Daily Affirmation

You see all the books with daily affirmations, meaning a different affirmation for each day. That’s not with this is. Find that single affirmation that gives you the energy and excitement to start your day. And take a moment several times a day to repeat this affirmation. You can set the alarm on your smart watch or use an app on your phone to remind you. Repeating your affirmation 3-5 times a day minimum will keep your mind in the right state. Always moving forward.

Be Aware of Your Current Health Status

To live your best life… you need to make sure you’re physically fit. Prioritize your health, both by keeping a routine of checkups with medical professionals, and regular manifestation.

When was the last time you went to your doctor for a general physical? A mole check with your dermatologist? You need to schedule these habits into your life, for a long and healthy life.

Schedule a yearly check up – If you haven’t had one recently, get in as soon as you can, and make it an annual habit. There are so many invisible symptoms; blood pressure, cholesterol, and more don’t make themselves known like a fever or skin rash. You need to have bloodwork and general health tests to know where you stand.
Move your body – Walking, running, biking, yoga, elliptical machine, just move. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, and your brain gets lazy along with it.

Newton’s First Law of Motion – “a body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.

Just get up and move. If you’re coming back from being a body at rest, start promising yourself one minute out of every waking hour. If you’re already active, go you!!!
See your dentist – Did you know an unchecked toothache can lead to a stroke? I didn’t either until recently. Keep your regular appointment with your dentist to keep your teeth clean and your gums healthy.
- I love this toothbrush for keeping my teeth their cleanest between checkups.

Moisturizer and Sunscreen – The sun is always out, even when you can’t see it, so never leave the house without sunscreen. And don’t forget your moisturizer, so your skin looks youthful and glowing at any age.

Better Sleep, Not Necessarily More Sleep

The quality of your sleep is just as important as the quantity. Sound, quality sleep helps you function better during the day. Does your bed/mattress make your back hurt? Mine made my low back and right hip hurt. Is there too much light coming in the room? Noises keeping you awake? Spouse snoring like a hibernating bear (I don’t really know if hibernating bears snore, but you get the point)?

How you end your day is just as important as how you start your day. Have you left all your stress and unresolved issues at the bedroom door? Do you have a notepad by your bed? Have you left your phone on the other side of the room, so you only use it for the alarm? Cutting off your social media reading at least an hour before bedtime will help your mind relax.

Lighted pen, so you can write things down, and your mind won’t dwell on them. Because your phone should not be right next to your bed.

Better sleep not only helps productivity, it helps your mindset too.

Here is a list of some of my favorite bedtime must-haves.

20 Tips To Make Moving Less Stressful

There are few things I dread as much as moving. And I’ve done it a few times in my life. The next move we make will be after living more than 20 years in the same house. We will need at least six months to prepare. but I think using the following tips will be a time, back and mind saver. Anything that makes moving less stressful is my friend.

Pack a carry-on type bag with all of your essentials

If you have the energy to find an unpack your things when you arrive, you’re superhuman. It’s best to have the things you’d pack for an overnight stay at a hotel, but be sure to include towels, shampoo, conditioner, and the things a hotel provides, because you won’t want to go looking for them.

2. Pack the items you’ll need as soon as you arrive in clear plastic bins.

This type is perfect to use.

These are the containers that hold everything you need to go through the other boxes. Kitchen essentials like: garbage bags, silverware, a few pots and pans. Home essentials: your phone charger (if you don’t already have it in your carry-on bag), toilet paper, hammer and nails, a screwdriver, scissors, a box cutter.

Having these in a clear container keeps you from having to wade through the other boxes to find the one or two you need to get started.

3. Wrap your fragile items in clothing.

That’s right, a two for one with this tip. Saves you a buttload of money, and you have nice cushy wrapping for your dishes, etc. And now you won’t need as many boxes for your clothes. Hahahaha

4. Along the same lines as the previous tip, use socks for your glass and stemware.

Let’s reword that, CLEAN socks. LOL Socks are great for the extra padding these items will need.

5. Use sandwich size zip lock bags for small items

For items that need to be disassembled, put the small parts in a baggie and tape it to the larger parts, or shrink wrap them all together.

6. Shrink wrap cords to electronics.

These shrink wrap tubes are easy to handle and handy.

If you’re wrapping up electronics, use a large roll of shrink wrap, the kind used to wrap large pallets. This will keep everything together and tidy.

7. When you grab your colored sharpies to label the boxes, take a tip from the pros and mark which room the boxes go in.

With different colored pens, you can color code: red for bedroom, green for kitchen, etc. Make sure you label the sides of the boxes. All sides, even better.

When you arrive, you’ll know exactly where each box goes. This may make the unpacking process easier if you want to unpack one room at a time.

8. Start unpacking the bathroom and kitchen first.

This way you’ll have all of your toiletries and towels in place. Because you’ll definitely want a shower either soon after you arrive, or at the end of the day.

9. Speaking of toiletries.

Pull the caps off and place plastic wrap over the openings, then replace the caps, then place in a zip lock bag. This is just one layer of protection should your containers break. I use this tip when I’m traveling too.

10. Treat dresser drawers like moving boxes

Press n Seal is a mover’s best friend.

When I used to go to trade shows, we’d leave the displays intact and cover them with press ‘n seal. This kept us from having to put everything back on the display from show to show. The same process works for drawers; use the press ‘n seal over the tops of the drawers, then you don’t have to pack and unpack them.

11. Are you taking the fridge?

Make sure you leave plenty of time to defrost and dry it out. You don’t want that mess to deal with when you arrive at your new home.

12. Use tomato boxes for books and heavy items

Ask your local grocery store or even restaurant if you can have some of their tomato boxes. They have nice handles on the side which make them easy to lift.

13. Take photos of anything you must disassemble and reassemble.

This includes electronics, appliances, anything that requires assembly on arrival.

14. Save on space and boxes

Use your laundry baskets, suitcases, gym bags, and storage bins to pack your items. This may seem like a no brainer, or it may seem like a hassle, but I can guarantee you, when you have to break down boxes after unpacking, you’ll appreciate having less boxes.

15. Leave your clothes on the hangers

It won’t take any extra room, since you’ll have to pack a box full of hangers anyway. Leave your closet items on the hangers and it will make unpacking much less hassle.

16. Donate or give away food, drinks and alcohol.

Maybe you could plan a huge meal for the people who help you pack, and ply them with alcohol to get them there, but there’s little reason to take that stuff with you. Maybe enough food for a few meals until you get settled but donate the rest to a food bank.

17. If you’re going to enlist your friends, make sure everything is packed when they arrive.

Your friends don’t want to pack all of your boxes too. And that’s sort of crappy of you to expect it. Just be glad they’re doing the heavy lifting and helping to load up the boxes.

18. Change your address at least two weeks before moving.

Make sure you have a list of all of the bills you pay through the mail; credit cards, utilities, Netflix, credit cards, and others. You may pay a lot of your bills online, but you need to contact those companies too, so don’t forget to change your address regardless of how you pay the bill.

19. Now is a good time to pare down.

We have 23 years of stuff on our farm, so this is something we’ll be doing for months in advance, but you might want to consider it at least 5-6 weeks before to make moving less stressful. Anything you don’t want to give away, either have a garage sale, an estate auction (if they have them in your area), or start selling online: eBay, Craigslist, Facebook markets. If you haven’t used it in six months, get rid of it.

20. Donate, donate, donate

Just like donating your food to the food bank, donate any items you don’t sell to a local charity. Many charities will bring a truck to pick up your items. But make sure you contact them and make an appointment weeks in advance. This will make you feel good and also help make moving less stressful.

When I say sell or donate…

Try not to let your feelings keep you from getting rid of stuff. You may think it’s no big deal when you pack up all that extra stuff, but believe me, when you arrive you’re going to wish you’d gotten rid of most of the things you haven’t used in six months, because now you just have to find a place for it again.

I hope these tips for making moving less stressful are helpful. I know I’ll be using them for our big move, even though we are keeping two houses for the time being.